"Nothing goes as planned. Everything will break. People say goodbye in their own special way. All that you relay on and all that you can fake. Will leave you in the morning but find you in the day. Oh you're in my veins and I cannot get you out. Everything will change. Nothing stays the … Continue reading Day 205
"Believe me. Believe me this loneliness won't go away. You all say I've crossed a line but the said fact is I've lost my mind. Can you see? Can you see they tell you lies thus keeping you weak. Leave me, my heart is dead for all to see. Can you see? You all say … Continue reading Day 197
"And if you're still breathing you're the lucky ones. Cause most of heaving through corrupted lungs. Setting fire to our insides for fun. We are the reckless. We are the wild youth. Chasing visions of our futures. One day we'll reveal the truth that one will die before he gets there. And if you're still … Continue reading Day 195
"I've fallen from grace. Took a blow to my face. I've loved and I've lost. I've loved and I've lost. Explosions on the day you wake up needing somebody. And you've learned it's ok to be afraid. It will never be the same." Loss surrounds you. Every time I hear of someone passing whether I … Continue reading Day 188
"Pick it up. Pick it all up and start all over again. You've got a warm heart you've got a beautiful brain but it's disintegrating down from all the medicine. You can still be what you want to be. What you said you were when you me." -Daughter This is me completely stripped at the … Continue reading Day 187
"Me I was holding all of my secrets soft and hid. Pages were folding then there was nothing at all. If this is redemption why do I bother at all? There's nothing to mention and everything has changed. But I'd rather be working at something than praying for the rain. So I wander on till … Continue reading Day 186
"Rain came pouring down when I was drowning. That's when I could finally breathe again" Losing your mind is a deceptive process. The grief cycle is not different from the addiction cycle. Addiction just piggybacks grief in my situation. You harm not only yourself but those around you. You are selfish and self centered as … Continue reading Day 170
"For in our great sorrow we learn what joy means." -Sleeping at Last (Sorrow) Do you ever wonder if this is it? Like everyone knows that you're broken in that way that is never fixed. Whether in the shadows or just covering every inch of you like a second skin. They intently watch as you … Continue reading Day 144
It's starting. I am morphing. Again. This time it's this beautiful, warm, sweet smelling gust of fresh air. All the times before I would take gasps of air. Short. Harsh. Cold. This is not that. I remember when I had been at footprints for a month I had the same feeling. I felt comfortable in … Continue reading Day 114
Till death do us part When exactly do you become not a wife? Where is the line where you decide it's ok that fate stole your "life" partner from you? Does the sting ever dissipate? Is there some fucking cloud that hangs over you until finally the wind blows again? How do you literally continue … Continue reading Day 103
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