You know those times where you realize what a strong woman you are but suddenly panic because you don’t know how you’ve done it. I can feel it like a surge in the ocean building power. What’s coming? Am I strong enough? Awakening colliding with killing I can feel the crash It’s like being drunk … Continue reading Day 359
Slowly opening my eyes I pause to take a breath. You know where you are. Driving into the Detroit the tears just fell. Turning onto Gratiot I felt like there was no way I could do this. A swirl of coming home and complete fear. When did this become home? How? Fucking Detroit. You loved … Continue reading Day 360
My first husband was never really my husband. In the world of drugs every dude needs an old lady. Their ride or die. For years I was his. Even when I wasn’t I was. Our souls entwined. Yesterday I was able to have closure around my first loss. Many times I have pointed the finger … Continue reading Day 358
You are the end to my beginning. Everything and nothing all at once. You’re memories rip through this tiny little island I have become. Leaving me desolate and unable to see through my now ill adjusted eyes. How can one soul have such force. If not him then why? Why would the human mind allow … Continue reading Day 353
“I remember thinking Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet?” -T.S. ” I can’t wait to be your wife” We had met in October and I knew instantly you were my one. As I whispered … Continue reading Day 349
“There's a war inside of me Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song Do I push it down or let it run me Right into the ground But I feel like I wouldn't like me If I met me I feel like I wouldn't like me If I met me” -You … Continue reading Day 348
I catch myself pretending you're at softball often. I am completely unsure that means progression or regression. This awaken is so painful. How many more times will I return to this same dark and empty island? I have jumped in to the murky waters it feels like a million times. Floundering about in a panic … Continue reading Day 345
" I'll smile. I know what it takes to fool this town. I'll do it till the sun goes down and all through the night time. I'll tell you what you wanna hear but leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear. It's never the right time. I'll put my armor on so you … Continue reading Day 343
"Pain lies. Depression lies. Most of all, despair lies." -Anonymous My life feels like when you're taking off in an airplane. So noisy but nothing recognizable. You brace yourself randomly as the speed starts to freak you out, only to remember you've done this a dozen times before. Surrounded in every way but remaining as … Continue reading Day 339
How long have I been dying? What is it like to wake up next to someone you have been married to for the past 50 years? Looking next to you at this person you have literally spent your whole life with. Laughing to yourself about the first gray hair freak out. Or all the creams … Continue reading Day 335
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