You know those times where you realize what a strong woman you are but suddenly panic because you don’t know how you’ve done it. I can feel it like a surge in the ocean building power.
What’s coming?
Am I strong enough?
Awakening colliding with killing
I can feel the crash
It’s like being drunk completely sober
Is this it?
Will this be the time those who cared about me remember most?
I give in
Completely
Take me where you please
Destroy and rebuild again
I am nothing but rubble anyway
Or institutionalize me already. Put me out of my misery. I don’t know how to say I’m too weak.
I am too weak.
“I can do this” I say reassuringly to a dark, empty room.
Keep pushing.
“Mama?”
“Yes baby”
“Tablet sleeping”
The Optimistic Widow 