“My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown, but it's alright All the liars are calling me won Nobody's heard from me for months I'm doing better than I ever was” The calm descended like a warm weighted blanket while lost in an arctic tundra. I had a … Continue reading Day 979
Tomorrow is my birthday….I will be 31 years old. Much older than I had expected or wanted a decade ago. Actually almost exactly ten years ago I started my addiction. Getting shitfaced with some of my oldest friends at the time. Hiding that I was already high out of my mind; I had an omenous … Continue reading Day 967
“Even if we try to conform to ideals and strive for perfection, we will always be pulled back to our core identity because it’s the path of least resistance for our souls – an energy force that wants nothing more than for us to honor and accept who we are and discover what we’re meant … Continue reading Day 944
Many times I am quick to say “I don’t know if I understand true love.” Not that I haven’t given and received. It’s more that I was not cognizant enough to accept. The quieter I am getting with myself the more I am hearing the repetitive loop of lies I feed myself. No wonder I … Continue reading Day 933
There is a space I vacillate within. Close to the edge. Provoking my imagination in the most obfuscous ways possible. As if I am flirting with my own disaster. Or feeding my black wolf over the white to see who will kill who eventually. I came face to face with myself just a year and … Continue reading Day 915
“Success is on the way, I feel it in the distance Used to look up at the stars and be like ain't too much that's different I be shinin', they be shinin', get your one shot don't you miss it What you know bout' wakin' up everyday like you on a mission? I hope you … Continue reading Day 912
There are things that pop into one’s mind over and over again. Why? What is the purpose? I often find myself gazing into the nothing. The tree branches against a clouded sky. The old dried leaves still covering the grounds from this last winter. Listening to the wind whispering or loud angry roars. Speaking to … Continue reading Day 909
How long does it usually take to wake up? I feel as though I have been waking up in larger ways slowly over time since 2012…. Maybe even before? No 2012 was when I decided I would at least attempt to fight for me. I was thinking about the act of waking up. I set … Continue reading Day 908
Yesterday I did some mass purging. I went through the mess I created throughout the winter. This was no metaphorical clutter, in fact this clutter was all too physical. As I sorted through old mail I threw into random drawers littered throughout my apartment, scraps of paper with random dialects and excess of those things … Continue reading Day 894
I am wavering again. In and among the trees I once knew so well. The light reflects in patterns. As if to invite me in. I hear Of Monsters and Men. Walk the Moon in the wind. It stings like winter never came. What if that was it? Winter came and froze over this heart … Continue reading Day 889
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