Reflection & Growth

Who do you look to?

Throughout life media has exposed me to some the strongest woman a girl could hope to witness.

From a very young age I have held Evita Perón in the highest of regard along with characters such as Elfaba, Captain Marval, Mimi, Aida, and my newest Donna Noble.

Eva was a poor young girl from middle of nowhere Argentina who dreamt of so much more than marrying a man to take care of her. Even in the face of unending doubt she made her decision and set out on her journey. Filled with tears and triumphs she must have been so lonely in those first years. In a world where men dictated reality she paved the way to what a determined woman really is. Though thrown aside as a “whore” or a gold digger the truth is Evita fought for the right to love people so they may in turn love her.

Elfaba the outcast. The wicked witch of the west. Was ostracized for being different. Captain Marvel lost everything and was lied to in order to control her power. Mimi a heroin addict left to die in the streets of New York. Aida a woman trying to save a country while still appeasing her own father. Donna a fucking temp from Chizic.

The funny thing about my idols is that they long to give love just seeking to learn to love themselves. Yet all of these woman were “no one special” the regular run of the mill female they were told to sit down and shut up, not just by men but by entire societies.

Take that in for a minute.

ENTIRE societies told powerful woman they were less than. We still see this today. In the large scale people like Alexandra **** who are fiery and passionate for the PEOPLE, for you. Yet we rip her down. Many using her femininity as her weakness. Even closer to home woman like me no degree, no overly impressive resume, single mom, someone easy to take advantage of. Unfortunately in this day and age we are all so focused on ourselves. Collecting and acquiring in order to feel purposeful. We have forgotten to fight for people. We have forgotten that some do stand above, not in a I’m better than you just that some strive to better the world. Some seek to give in order to heal. Why not allow us to? Why hold the ten year old that dreams of being president back. What if we nurtured those crazy dreams? Feed into ones who want to bring good? It’s not a competition, we all have the same goals.

The fearful will always demean the fearless. They wish to have half the courage within the pinkie finger of someone they loathe. See I am realizing hate is just hurt. It is that lack again. Please stop feeding fear and lack! Feed hope and abundance, I mean how good could it get?

May I be the first to throw a stone at myself.

I have been a liar.

A murderer.

Predator and pray.

Selfish.

Lazy.

Laid with married men.

Lustful.

A junkie.

Inconsiderate.

Greed.

Cruel.

I have fallen short of anything and me would hope to be.

I have also learned.

When I died may my children know that for all my faults I loved indiscriminately because I am a version of most people’s worst fears mixed within thirty three years. It is an honor to suffer in the pursuit of others peace.