"Slow down. Start again from the beginning. I can't stop my head from spinning out of control. Is this what being vulnerable feels like? And I run the risk of being intimate with my brokenness. Through this magnifying glass I see a thousand finger prints on the surface of who I am." -SAL #blackwidowx2 Although … Continue reading Day 288
I wasn't going to address your sobriety birthday. I'm still mad at AA. I'm mad and I'm grateful. What kind of fucked up world do I live in? As I was deciding whether or not to even acknowledge the day I realized how much you gave to our community. You were the kind of man … Continue reading Day 287
What am I thinking of? What am I thinking of? What am I ....... The rain drops hit the windshield and my mind wanders. Are you watching me? Do you judge me? I would. I am a total shit can of a storm. What the fuck is my purpose? I am lost. Again. A empty … Continue reading Day 272
I put Aj to bed and you hit me. You hit like a ton of bricks. My chest constricted as a million thoughts played bumper cars in my head. How is it that you are still gone? My mind cannot wrap around the thought that you are not just out there living somewhere far away. … Continue reading Day 264
I want to numb you out. I want to wake up one morning with no memory of you. At this point any memory good or bad stings like a poison slowly seeping into my bloodstream. Like a cancer slowly killing me organ by organ. I want to be at the point where I look back … Continue reading Day 257
I was sitting at my desk. Just sitting like any other day. Then suddenly flashes. Flashes of us folding laundry together and you making fun of me for procrastinating. Walking over to you and grabbing your face to look you in the eyes and saying how in love with you I still was. Our marriage … Continue reading Day 251
@butiyoga @goldenrationutrition Day 1 #dare2barechallenge Who am I? Lol god how many times have I asked myself this very question? I am a loving daughter. A mother of two. A dedicated worker. A survivor of heroin addiction. A warrior out of ashes of abuse. A young widow. I am Jess. I started my journey of … Continue reading Dare2Bare
Grandma E, As I think back on the past almost decade you were a constant in a world that was full of chaos at one point. Though we weren't "close" you never made me feel less than. Thank you. I think that is the biggest and most profound thing I can say. Thank you for … Continue reading Loss
"Sometimes the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just where you are The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you And when that voice starts to … Continue reading Day 235
"When we grew up, Our shadows grew up too. But they’re just old ghosts That we grow attached to. The tragic flaw is that they hide the truth That you’re enough. I promise you’re enough. “You are enough.” These little words, somehow they’re changing us. “You are enough,” So we let our shadows fall away … Continue reading Day 232
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