Day 287

I wasn’t going to address your sobriety birthday. I’m still mad at AA. I’m mad and I’m grateful. What kind of fucked up world do I live in? As I was deciding whether or not to even acknowledge the day I realized how much you gave to our community. You were the kind of man that New Freedom, CA, and of course Round Table strived to bring to the surface. It seem like no matter what your program was THE most important thing. Something not many can honestly say they do. Whenever your phone would ring you never hesitated to answer or to leave the house to go and help someone else even late at night. I remember the first time you got a sponsee. It was like we had our first kid LOL! The joy it brought to you to walk someone else through the very same path that you had just traveled. You lived to show them new reasons to find beauty in life or something they could rely on to get out of self. I used to listen to you talk to them and literally my mind was blown, you understood that shit. You lived the program. I’ll never forget how hurt you were when he was gone saying you wouldn’t sponsor again. Then a new one came. I want you to know in the beginning I hated all of them lol seriously but those guys still to this day show up. You did something right Papa. This was never my experience I was terrified of sponsees. I didn’t even know where to begin I was such a mess all the time but you even picked me up. It seems like you believed in my program more than I did. And often times I wonder if I was your demise.

Moral of this story is:
You were ________
Amazing
Caring
Strong
Selfless
Determined
Unique
Funny
The absolute best

I know this more now than ever before…

Thank you babe
I love you 💕