Day 303

“Why did you leave me here to burn? I’m way too young to be this hurt. Do you care? Do you care? Why don’t you care? I was there. I was there when no one was. Now you’re gone and I’m here. I have questions. I have questions haunting me.” -Camila Cabello

I am losing something
Currently something is slowly leaking through all of the cracks I swear I patched already. I’m not quite sure where in the waves I can be located. This limbo is a vast and expansive body of water.
Swallow me up already.
I’m ready
I have been tightening the straps on my life preserver to find they weren’t even connected in the first place. What is the lesson? What am I missing?
I am failing.
Take me under.
I see the moon dancing along the ripples of the water exposing my weaknesses. The self loathing and doubt can be more than one brain could process. Endless emptiness broken only with old memories set on fire and left to be ashes in the wind. I wonder how you leave this place? The biggest problem is the feeling of coming home in this darkness. It has become my citadel in the storm. It can’t be safe outside either. I mean right? This is forever isn’t it? What would he do?
Get up
Wipe your face
Brush your teeth
Go to sleep Jess
Tomorrow is just that.
Tomorrow.