Last night I sat in the rain.Purposefully.Asking Pachamama to heal me.This isolation is so challenging.On so many levels.I feel as though I have taken a trillion steps backwards in a matter of days. When I use to live with my aunt there were so many aspects I struggled to understand.Now that I am growing older … Continue reading Day 1,277
Category: #Grief
Day 1,239
“Every inch of me is tremblingBut not from the coldSomething is familiarLike a dream I can reach but not quite holdI can sense you thereLike a friend I've always knownI'm arrivingAnd it feels like I am home I have always been a fortressCold secrets deep insideYou have secrets, tooBut you don't have to hide” This … Continue reading Day 1,239
Day 1,182
“I've seen dark before, but not like thisThis is cold, this is empty, this is numbThe life I knew is over, the lights are outHello, darkness, I'm ready to succumbI follow you around, I always haveBut you've gone to a place I cannot findThis grief has a gravity, it pulls me down” It was around … Continue reading Day 1,182
Day 1,162
It's hard for me to tell you that I've been through it tooYou're tryna clean up the messSewing together what's leftYou saidI used to trust so easilyI used to fall for anythingBut under all my boundariesI just didn't know betterI used to have no confidenceUncomfortable in my own skinDeep down, way-way back thenI just didn't … Continue reading Day 1,162
Day 1,121
Gosh I miss her 😔 Day 365
Day 1,111
For the entirety of my life I have felt a special connection to baths. As a child they are where I would allow my imagination to run free and spend hours making entire story lines for my plastic miniature Disney characters. Making grand adventures and surprisingly introspective When I got older I would seek solace in the bathtub … Continue reading Day 1,111
Day 980
"It won't be easy, you'll think it strange When I try to explain how I feel That I still need your love after all that I've done You won't believe me All you will see is a girl you once knew" Who do you look to? Throughout life I have been exposed to some the … Continue reading Day 980
Reflection & Growth
Who do you look to? Throughout life media has exposed me to some the strongest woman a girl could hope to witness. From a very young age I have held Evita Perón in the highest of regard along with characters such as Elfaba, Captain Marval, Mimi, Aida, and my newest Donna Noble. Eva was a … Continue reading Reflection & Growth
Day 979
“My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown, but it's alright All the liars are calling me won Nobody's heard from me for months I'm doing better than I ever was” The calm descended like a warm weighted blanket while lost in an arctic tundra. I had a … Continue reading Day 979
Day 967
Tomorrow is my birthday….I will be 31 years old. Much older than I had expected or wanted a decade ago. Actually almost exactly ten years ago I started my addiction. Getting shitfaced with some of my oldest friends at the time. Hiding that I was already high out of my mind; I had an omenous … Continue reading Day 967