Day 1,182

“I've seen dark before, but not like thisThis is cold, this is empty, this is numbThe life I knew is over, the lights are outHello, darkness, I'm ready to succumbI follow you around, I always haveBut you've gone to a place I cannot findThis grief has a gravity, it pulls me down” It was around … Continue reading Day 1,182

Day 1,162

It's hard for me to tell you that I've been through it tooYou're tryna clean up the messSewing together what's leftYou saidI used to trust so easilyI used to fall for anythingBut under all my boundariesI just didn't know betterI used to have no confidenceUncomfortable in my own skinDeep down, way-way back thenI just didn't … Continue reading Day 1,162

Day 1,121

Gosh I miss her 😔 Day 365

Day 1,111

For the entirety of my life I have felt a special connection to baths.  As a child they are where I would allow my imagination to run free and spend hours making entire story lines for my plastic miniature Disney characters. Making grand adventures and surprisingly introspective  When I got older I would seek solace in the bathtub … Continue reading Day 1,111

Day 980

"It won't be easy, you'll think it strange When I try to explain how I feel That I still need your love after all that I've done You won't believe me All you will see is a girl you once knew" Who do you look to? Throughout life I have been exposed to some the … Continue reading Day 980

Day 979

“My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown, but it's alright All the liars are calling me won Nobody's heard from me for months I'm doing better than I ever was” The calm descended like a warm weighted blanket while lost in an arctic tundra. I had a … Continue reading Day 979

Day 967

Tomorrow is my birthday….I will be 31 years old. Much older than I had expected or wanted a decade ago. Actually almost exactly ten years ago I started my addiction. Getting shitfaced with some of my oldest friends at the time. Hiding that I was already high out of my mind; I had an omenous … Continue reading Day 967

Day 944

“Even if we try to conform to ideals and strive for perfection, we will always be pulled back to our core identity because it’s the path of least resistance for our souls – an energy force that wants nothing more than for us to honor and accept who we are and discover what we’re meant … Continue reading Day 944

Day 933

Many times I am quick to say “I don’t know if I understand true love.” Not that I haven’t given and received. It’s more that I was not cognizant enough to accept. The quieter I am getting with myself the more I am hearing the repetitive loop of lies I feed myself. No wonder I … Continue reading Day 933

Day 915

There is a space I vacillate within. Close to the edge. Provoking my imagination in the most obfuscous ways possible. As if I am flirting with my own disaster. Or feeding my black wolf over the white to see who will kill who eventually. I came face to face with myself just a year and … Continue reading Day 915