A year ago I was dying. Fooled you didn't I? I was DYING. Slowly. In front of all of you. Not in a way the world would consider a real illness but I WAS dying. Terminal grief. With no end in sight. I decided in the month previous that I was going to live! For … Continue reading Day 460
"When did my life become a series of countdowns? I curse the heavens for pulling you away from me At the same time I pray that you'll find everything you seek I am happy, I am thankful and I am proud Said with a smile" -Countdowns *sleeping at last* Lately Dave has weighed heavily on … Continue reading Day 459
I have decided I feel bad for norms. They can’t comprehend how you can love your dead spouse while still falling or be in love with a living person. Their minds try too hard to rationalize things that aren’t meant to be understood. Life is not linear. It’s curved. Sharp. Messy. Jagged. With moments of … Continue reading Day 457
The level of compassion that comes with being a widow can sometimes be overwhelming. In the groups I see daily struggles. Of my fellows. My tribe. Many times I wish I could just reach out and hug them because I understand that pain. It can come in a waterfall of words or in the silence. … Continue reading Loss is senseless
This is from when he was still alive .... not him singing but a beautiful reminder of the million ways he supported me 💕🦄 and how I was building my strength long before I realized how bad I would need it.
"I wanna sing a song worth singing I'll write an anthem worth repeating I wanna feel the transformation A melody of reformation The list goes on forever Of all the ways I could be better In my mind As if I could earn God's favor given time Or at least "congratulations" Now I have learned … Continue reading Day 449
Why is it when we suffer at all we blame God? In everything. Even those who don’t believe in maintaining a relationship with him are the quickest to point the finger. Ordered a pizza. Wanted sausage got cheese. God hates me and thinks I’m fat. Trying to prove myself at work. Sent an email discussing … Continue reading Day 448
The wind rustling through the trees is so familiar to a life long ago. I remember lying in bed in my most favorite homes we ever shared together. The warm breeze bringing peace in the turmoil that was the now. Where did we go left? When did I make you believe I had just thrown … Continue reading Day 446 (Public)
Usually if you are feeding your heart you will starve your art....... creation has been different lately. This is the compilation of moments I stole while embarking into the unknown. Either way I wanted to share it with you. Maybe let’s never speak of it though. Thank you for being a force of creativity in … Continue reading Day 446
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