Day 87

Tonight I attended an African tribal dance circle. Yep! You heard me right. 😂 let’s be honest ok? It was not what my head had created. In the beginning self was so so loud. It was torture. As we began the lights remained on! Ummmmm excuse will you kindly shut that shit off?! Thank you. I did not have my security blanket. I could not hide in the back of the room in the dark. I judged everything I did. Even the way I was thinking. I was miserable. My head was screaming to leave immediately and also to keep my ass in that room no matter what simultaneously. Once I remembered to focus on my breath again I was present again and slightly peaceful. Luckily I made it all the way through. In the end I was so grateful to have opportunity to look like an idiot surrounded in a room of women who I love and love me whether we know each other or not. I felt like a warrior! Lol friendships and thighs strengthened. Upon leaving god presented someone very special from my past that I would not have seen had I run. I was reminded that caring and compassion is remembered no matter how much time passes. God spoke up once again when I was able to share a vulnerability in a whole new friendship. Something many of you know I struggle consistently with. I feel constantly surrounded by love these days and it is very confusing but I am so very grateful for the beautiful beautiful souls that are in my life. I am blessed to grow with the mantra to be grateful for where I am at today whether it’s mental, physical, or emotional. I feel like a caterpillar entering a cocoon. I still have so much growing left to do but 2017 will be my year of growth. Determination is a hell of a quality for a strong woman to have! Grateful for that too 😀👆🙏💕

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