I wanted to say I miss the days when it was easy.
I wanted to but as soon as the thought crossed my mind I felt dizzy.
Deep breath
Deep breath
Grief is about growth
About becoming the very best .0 you could hope to be
Independently
Well somewhat
Does a ghost count?
What about multiple ghosts?
I wanted to say I miss the good old days
That would be a lie
I don’t believe I have had “good old days”
I have had days I should have appreciated then
I have had days filled with gratitude and laughter
I have overcome obstacles
Shed tears of happiness and regret
Someone like me though…
I have been incapable of valuing the good in the moment
See a spirit like mine is restless in the most peaceful of places
Always searching
Aching
Reaching for the unknown or known
I want to see, touch, taste, hear, breathe in all that this world has to offer
This does not lend itself to an even keel life
Just micro bursts of chaos
Positive or negative it all affects me the same
I am like butter.
Spread far to thin to not become one with the rough surface below.
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