“And you, you were the one I treated the worst.
Only because you loved me the most.”
You know those moments when you cry out to God?
“Please have mercy on me.”
*silence*
” I am weak.
I am exhausted.
I have trusted in you and I feel FUCKING FORSAKEN!”
*silence*
Laying on my floor I feel only the warmth of the sun peeking through the leaves.
The wind blows gently.
Cooling.
Invigorating.
Get up.
Yes, I know. Again.
Get up.
“No” I mutter “let me stay here.”
This is not the end. Have you rested? You will need it.
“Oh hahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA like I am some pawn to be thrown around!?”
No you are meant for more.
Are you ready?
“That’s it. I’ve lost it.”
Staring at the ceiling
“Fuck it.”
Hrrrumph
On my feet once again. I sway for a second. Regaining composer to my core.
“They will all think I am nuts.”
Good. Let me show you how to show them.
“Grace, I know you carry us.
Grace, and it was a fucking mess.
Grace, I don’t say it enough.
Grace, you are so loved.This is the only thing I’ve ever had any faith in.”
The Optimistic Widow 