Day 332

People come in and out of our lives.
Many leaving less than lasting impressions. There are those though that walk in and you wonder how you even functioned the week before. I have two coworkers that have literally changed the course of my grief path. Little do they know the impact they have left. When I started this job I was more than empty inside. Having just lost almost everything that was once my norm and moving across the country for the third time in six months. I was surrounded by people but I had drawn so deep inside myself that the woman you would meet was just vessel. As soon as I started training I met a soul sister 💕 (If you’re reading this don’t get it twisted 🙃still hate you 😘🙌) She reminded me laughter is the best medicine. It was very much like the awakening at Footprints. Laughing so hard I was sure I would pee myself. Without knowing me she knew me. I am so grateful to have someone in my everyday that smiles when I need it most. On my hardest days she somehow knows exactly the amount of space I need or talking I need to do. Then there is Mom 😂 She is this amazing woman who just gets the most important things in life. Over the past few months she has been there as a support system through the trials and tribulations of being a mom. Understanding the block of my own mother and questioning every decision I make with the kids. She was the first person I spoke to openly about Dave here. At first it felt like a dirty secret that if anyone knew I would no longer be Jess I would be “that poor young widow” but Mom she sat there listening and the next day I was still Jess. These are my coworkers. People from work?! I have always found “family” where I go. It’s just who I am. When C5 was gone I lost so much more than a job. I lost my best friends. My only true home base. My heart. I can happily say that all though it is no C5 the world is still decent. I am able to adapt to the real world. I can be appreciated for who I am no matter where I am. As I am running off the tracks towards the year mark of Dave’s passing I can’t help but feel strong. I feel ready for the battle. I am not the “poor” widow. I am an individual with dreams, ambitions, and mountains to climb. I am resilient and I don’t have to hide.

I am ______

I am a mother.
I am a daughter.
I am a friend.
I am a coworker.
I am a widow.
I am Jess✨

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