Creation haunts me.
Not in a spooky ghost way but more of a one that got away vibe.
When creation flowed I was a vessel of water. So overwhelmed by everything. The emotions had to find a place. They needed to feel heard. In many ways like so many times before.
All around there were bars and no I am not talking about a strawberry daiquiri one. (Although these were my lush years.) It was a cage made of translucent water. These are the ones that play with the mind. Crystal clear streams flowing liminally.
The illusion of freedom.
I can see it.
I can see my surroundings therefore I am not restricted.
I can see my surroundings……but it’s through running water.
Can I see?
I am looking.
Oh, I can see.
These are the things my mind is trying to verbalize.
Life is a mirrorball and so am I.
See I have this thing, I can be looking right at something but if I’m not looking in a specific perspective it is invisible to me.
I know! Invisible to me! Me! The overthinker. I run myself ragged attempting to think of every outcome that could possibly transpire but it took me years to understand I cannot solve a problem if the equation is perceived incorrect. I like to think myself a considerate individual but I can be quite ignorant.
I can see.
Now the waters have settled down a bit I am able to walk around. I can stop and see from another angle, person, idea, hope; it’s ever evolving. I can also see both streams (reality vs. mind) at once. The confluence my younger self followed endless mirages for.
Yet in this peace I find myself longing. It’s not for another or a place. It’s for myself. A longing to release and reprieve. A release I once felt innately.
There is a sigh that comes once creation has been well …… created. Like taking off a heavy backpack. The indentations and ache remain for a while longer but then you don’t have to feel that for undetermined amount of time. I never have to feel that again UNLESS I pick it up.
Not to fret Dear Reader 🙂
I can see.
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