My heart and my brain are at war.
“I am failing” one screams to the other’s back.
“You failed a long time ago” the other mutters under it’s breath.
I do feel as if I am failing.
Falling.
Scrambling to grasp something that is tangible.
These mirages only dissipate just when you think you’ve finally reach “it”.
Here!
Here I am!
Like Tom Hanks stuck on that fucking Fedex island.
I built a fire.
Carefully placed stones to leave a message.
Attempted a raft of banana leaves.
Only to wash up on shore exactly where my feet had last felt the ground.
This is purgatory.
Purge Jess.
Purge.
Whatever it is.
If not this tsunami will swallow you whole.
The Optimistic Widow 